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The 2024 Raskies: One veteran (i.e., washed) boxing author’s awards for the yr that was

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When Bernard Hopkins was my age, he was not solely nonetheless boxing professionally, however he was in actual fact successful gentle heavyweight unification fights. So I’ve no excuse. However the unhappy reality is, I’m washed.
A couple of weeks in the past, I went to a film that began at 11 a.m. and fell asleep 20 minutes in. My abdomen is a catastrophe that turns any drive house from a restaurant right into a sweaty race towards the clock. A few half-dozen occasions a yr, I throw out my again sneezing. My flexibility is shot, to the purpose that placing on socks requires deliberate calculation of angles and distances (particularly if I’ve not too long ago thrown out my again sneezing).
However, hey. It could possibly be worse. The getting-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-to-pee factor hasn’t began but.
Anyway, as I wrap up my first yr within the BoxingScene/ProBox household, I discover myself reflecting on the yr that was and hoping that I’ve confirmed I’m not completely washed as a author. And that was no positive factor after I linked up with editor Tris Dixon and this excellent crew right here. For the prior decade or so, I’d semi-retired from writing in regards to the sport to deal with podcasting about it, and people completely different mediums require completely different psychological muscle tissues. However right here I’m, having cranked out two columns and/or options each week about this sublimely ridiculous, ridiculously chic sport of ours and … properly, they haven’t all been winners, however I really feel like my CompuBoxingScene join proportion has been respectable.
And because the first yr of my boxing writing comeback concludes, I’ve determined to introduce a brand new custom that may hopefully be repeated for as a few years as I’m able to parry the punches of that bully Father Time. Welcome to the primary annual Raskies, an awards column that honors one of the best, worst, and weirdest of the yr that was, courtesy of BoxingScene’s washed-est of scribes. Beneath you’ll see a few of the identical year-end classes that seem in all places else (together with on this very web site over the following a number of days, though maybe with completely different winners), and fairly just a few year-end classes you gained’t discover wherever else.
And with that, let’s get to the 2024 Raskies:
Fighter of the yr: Oleksandr Usyk. No rationalization or justification wanted. Even an AI model of C.J. Ross may get the rating proper on this one.
Fighter of the yr if Usyk had didn’t defeat Tyson Fury a second time: This might have been shut between Daniel Dubois (KO 8 Filip Hrgovic, KO 5 Anthony Joshua) and Jesse “Bam” Rodriguez (KO 7 Juan Francisco Estrada, KO 3 Pedro Guevara) — although they’re each maybe fortunate that Naoya Inoue’s scheduled third combat of 2024 acquired postponed. In the long run, I’ve to go together with Dubois, who was the betting underdog going into each of his spectacular wins.
Strangest story of the yr: Once more, a detailed name between two evenly matched contenders — each on the ladies’s facet of the game. The runner-up: the Sandy Ryan crimson paint assault, which stays a thriller (denying me and my dad-joke fanatic colleague David Greisman all of the “caught red handed” quips we’ve been sitting on). However taking house the Raskie: Amanda “The Real Deal” Serrano having to again out of her most important occasion combat at fairly actually the final minute — with opponent 9 Meinke ready within the ring —  on account of “corneal damage due to hair products.” That’s positively one thing boxing’s different well-known “Real Deal” by no means needed to fear about.
Shortest-lived title change of the yr: Anybody keep in mind when Gervonta Davis was reborn as Abdul Wahid?
Battle of the yr: Once more I used to be torn between two choices — neither of which appears to be getting a lot year-end awards assist from my boxing media brethren. The Raskie goes to Raymond Ford vs. Otabek Kholmatov on March 2, a spectacular battle through which Ford entered spherical 12 needing a knockout to win and acquired one with seven seconds left on the clock. And in a detailed second place — and maybe I’m grading on a curve because of my low expectations — Derek Chisora’s July 27 resolution win over Joe Joyce in a brutal slugfest that put the “slobber” in “slobberknocker.” (And if they need to rematch in just a few years after they’re each a bit flabbier, perhaps then they’ll put the “knockers” in “slobberknockers.”)

The Jennifer Gray’s nose-job profession self-sabotage award: Referee Tony Weeks, not for his untimely stoppage of Vergil Ortiz vs. Frederick Lawson (though that wasn’t nice for Weeks’ profession), however for leaping on Fb quickly after and attempting to elucidate away his actions by sharing non-public, unsubstantiated medical details about Lawson’s mind scan. The Fb publish was rapidly deleted. However a Raskie is without end.
The all-is-right-with-the-world award: Boxer Anthony Joshua obliterates MMA fighter Francis Ngannou.
The all-is-wrong-with-the-world award: YouTuber Jake Paul will get dwelling legend Mike Tyson’s title on his official boxing document.
Refreshingly trustworthy advertising and marketing of the yr: The Don King combat poster that included the phrases, “Broner vs. Cobbs (if Broner shows up).”
Knockout of the yr: We noticed some sick KOs this yr, however for me, none mixed violence with drama fairly like Lucas Bahdi face-planting undefeated sizzling prospect Ashton Sylve within the sixth spherical of a combat Sylve had dominated to that time. My solely criticism is that the knockout mixture consisted solely of head punches, completely ruining the entire “Bahdi shot” jokes that Greisman and I have been cooking up.
Greatest argument towards AI boxing judges: Usyk 118, Fury 112.
Greatest argument for AI boxing judges: Take your choose amongst Robson Conceicao SD 12 O’Shaquie Foster, Johnny Fisher SD 10 David Allen, Natasha Jonas SD 10 Mikaela Mayer, Katie Taylor UD 10 Amanda Serrano, Andres Cortes UD 10 Abraham Nova, and Kenshiro Teraji MD 12 Carlos Canizales.
Most punchable face award: Rolly Romero, for the ninth yr working. (He turned professional in 2016.)
Greatest glow-up: Lennox Lewis, wanting higher than ever with the shaved head/grey beard combo.
Feminine fighter of the yr: Gabriela Fundora, who stopped Christina Cruz in spherical 10, gained each spherical on all three scorecards towards Daniela Asenjo, viciously KO’d Gabriela Alaniz within the sixth spherical, and completed the yr holding each ladies’s flyweight belt. She ain’t simply Sebastian’s child sister anymore.


Blood-letting of the yr: Extra Raskie {hardware} for the Fundora household, as Sebastian Fundora and Tim Tszyu splattered plasma about till they each regarded like they’d gone 12 robust rounds with Sandy Ryan’s attacker.
Greatest boxer acting on HBO: Kali Reis. Possibly on the following season of True Detective, they’ll arrest some overpaid fits for the homicide of HBO Boxing. (Sure, I’m nonetheless bitter, six years later.)
The worst-excuse-for-extending-the-evening award: Strong runner-up showings right here from Eminem, Liam Gallagher, numerous nationwide anthems, and diverse automotive giveaways, however the winner needs to be a sure well-funded boxing beginner getting an impromptu induction into the Nevada Boxing Corridor of Fame … whereas in California.
Spherical of the yr: Abdullah Mason-Yohan Vasquez, spherical 1. Mason might have value himself Prospect of the Yr honors by hitting the canvas twice within the opening spherical, however he additionally dropped Vasquez as soon as within the spherical, and his lack of prime prospect recognition is boxing followers’ achieve.
Most ironic ring entrance of the yr: Teofimo Lopez going with a “Greatest Showman” theme after which being neither nice nor a showman vs. Jamaine Ortiz.
The cash-is-my-only-motivation award: Saul “Canelo” Alvarez, who, as at all times, had his choose of opponents and, in 2024, selected Jaime Munguia and Edgar Berlanga.
The cash-talks-louder-than-my-matchmakers award: Jared “Big Baby” Anderson, who took an “L” to Martin Bakole in trade for a giant bag of candy Saudi money, over the objections of everybody at Prime Rank.
Upset of the yr: Apart from Fighter of the Yr, that is the obvious of the most important awards. It needs to be Bruno Surace KO 6 Jaime Munguia. Congrats to Surace on incomes the Cinco de Mayo 2025 date with Canelo.
The sometimes-boxing-gets-exactly-what-it-deserves award: The completely dreadful William Scull-Vladimir Shishkin “title fight.”
The Edgar Berlanga Award for knocking opponents out too rapidly on your personal good: Moses Itauma.
The identical-boxers, same-year, very-different-results award: Frazer Clarke-Fabio Wardley I and Frazer Clarke-Fabio Wardley II.
Comeback fighter of the yr: I get wanting to present this to both Daniel Dubois or Joseph Parker, however they each started their present sizzling streaks in December 2023. So I’m bestowing this honor upon Vergil Ortiz Jr., whose critical well being points stored him out of the ring for everything of 2023 and had us questioning if his boxing profession was probably over — just for him to combat 3 times in 2024 and lift his inventory larger than ever.
The boxing loss of life that hit me the toughest award: I do know I’m most likely supposed to present this to Israel Vazquez, but when I do, I’m not being trustworthy with myself. Nope. This Raskie goes to Carl Weathers. RIP, Depend of Monte Fisto.
Widest hole between how bad-ass he’s and the way bad-ass his title sounds: Dakota Linger, who, regardless of sounding like a feminine stripper crossed with a Cranberries ballad, scored an upset knockout of Kurt Scoby in April.
Dirtiest fighter of the yr: It takes a washed author to know a grimy fighter, and no person was dirtier than Esteuri Suero towards Floyd Schofield. Suero misplaced a degree for lifting Schofield’s leg in a clinch, misplaced one other for a light-weight body-slam, after which acquired DQ’d for a blatant low blow. Nonetheless, you can argue Suero is making progress; in a 2023 combat, he misplaced one level for a low blow and two for biting.
Occasion of the yr: Within the spirit of the Time journal Individual of the Yr, which might go to a steaming pile of excrement so long as that excrement wielded nice affect, the ultimate Raskie of this column goes to Jake Paul vs. Mike Tyson. If ever an occasion in boxing deserved to be acknowledged with the 4 phrases “for better or worse” hooked up, it’s Paul-Tyson, which attracted gob-smacking consideration, semi-crashed Netflix, featured an excellent undercard, after which proceeded to reveal the sorry state of boxing, the sorrier state of humanity and movie star tradition, and everything of Tyson’s posterior.
And that brings us to the rear finish of the 2024 Raskies. Let’s do it once more in 2025, after I shall be one yr older and extra washed, nevertheless it gained’t matter as a result of this column shall be written by the world’s first AI chatbot programmed each to inform dad jokes and rating boxing matches (and presumably to do neither significantly properly).

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Publish date : 2024-12-26 19:33:24

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